Another sleepless night
Another night lost in my memories
Another one of those nights..
I lay awake on the bed
Trying to fall into slumber
But I shut my eyes
And your face is all I can see
The face I see is blurred..
Like my mind doesn't want me to recall..
But I know that it is you..
Our memories start flashing by
Begins with the bad ones..
But eventually just the sweet ones..
Everything.. every bit.. every detail..
Your smile.. your hand for mine
Your warmth.. your lips on mine
It all really happened.. right?
Why is it that the one relationship..
I thought I did everything right..
Is the one I actually screwed up the most..?
Love blinds you from your own mistakes..
I would have done everything in my power..
To undo mine..
But not everyone gets a second chance..
Alcohol and tobacco doesn't take away the pain..
If anything it's a temporary numbness
Keep telling myself to 'man' up..
To do well for myself
But it is so difficult..
So.. much harder than anticipated..
I need that little bit of comfort..
To ease the pain..
So I can go through another day..
How long will it take..
I really do not know..
You were so special
You are everything I could possibly ask for..
And so much more..
You've probably moved on by now..
Glad to see you doing so well..
Hey..
You are happy..
Isn't that all that matters?

Maybe I deserved this..
Maybe she deserves better..
Looking at myself now..
I question myself..
"Maybe she did the right thing..?"